didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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