I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
