did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
