All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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