cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
