So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
birth control should be required to get into college
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
