She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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