So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will pee on everything he values.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
