I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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