I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
