i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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