told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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