woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.