Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"