i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
