and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
