No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize