I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
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I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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