Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
