Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
