office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
