There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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