I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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