NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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