i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
