Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
