Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
