my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
