white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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