Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
