We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
