Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
