she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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