In America we eat man semen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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