carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
