his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
