Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
