you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
