she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
