I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
