she woke up with a sticky ear
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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