Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
