I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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