the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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