This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
