i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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