i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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