Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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