I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
