the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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