Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
