I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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