If i come over, it means nothing
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
