it wasn't lemon gatorade
where does the pee come out of this thing
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Still dying that you shit outside
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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