In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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