My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
