WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
