Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
sarcasm needs its own font
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
