I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
