8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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