Kiss
Puke
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
