Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The feeling are messing with the penis
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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