I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize