Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
